This is the third trial to make an entry here within 48h. Tried but never clicked the Done!-button. It is somehow scary to me that this is my diary and I have second thoughts about what and how I write things down here, as I don't want to offend any of the few readers... I never intended to end like this on MY diary.
Those things I write are little things out of my boring life and I am not a very good writer. Just a few thoughts in somehow rudimentary english words.
Maybe I should go back to old times and post everything in german again. So, I would not be that scared of what people might think...
I wanted to write about a man in his 50s. He lives somewhere in the southern parts of Northamerica and I don't know him in person. Maybe I'm not right to write about him, but these thoughts are growing in me and the more I know, the more angry I got.
It's just my opinion.
Well, that man is stuck in his development and mental growth somewhere in his end twenties. He is not happy how he lives now and is always on the search of his lost youth to get back those few moments of happiness he might had then. He never grew since then and it seems to me that he never tries to grow further on. He somehow "stalks" people he think he likes. He judges people for what they read, for what they do, for what kind of music they like, he judges anybody and anything and can't just live and let be. Why don't he want to grow further on? Why is he stuck in his his development? Why can't he have fun in his life without thoughts of his past? Why can't he just live in the presence and enjoy things and look forward to new things that might can happen? Or enjoy his aging, or enjoy growing old, or enjoy the growing of mental things, or enjoy the company of people of the same age?
I don't like that man. He's hollow. He's so superficial in his intelligence.
On the other hand I can see parallels to myself. But I at least think that I try to enjoy my life now and don't grief for happy times long gone and I try to grow and go on and not to look back.
And I think that I am successful with my trials, at least with this entry and clicking the Done!-button.
23:10 - January 27, 2009
Recent entries:
- - April 17, 2019
- - April 10, 2019
Das kannste schon so machen, aber dann ist es halt Kacke - April 08, 2019
- - March 25, 2019
- - March 18, 2019
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