As you might know - or not - I'm a Jehovas Witness.
We do not have sex out of marriage.
That's the reason, I haven't had sex in years. For 6 years, to be exact.
Lately I often think about having sex and risk to be kicked out of the community.
It's not about the extreme horniness, which is gone.
I think it's just about the feel, to be near to someone from time to time, to feel attractive.
It is not about a relationship. I really, really enjoy living alone and bath in my "hermit-ness", besides that I'm absolutely not relationship-material.
I had a lot of sex with various partners before, male and female, in the year(s) after I got divorced.
It is not that I am a very beautiful woman. I'm pretty average looking. But there were various men and women who seemed to be attracted to me. Well, it was just for sex.
I haven't done anything yet to force my thoughts into action.
But I'm tempted. I often think about this lately.
I think about if a moment of nearness, of lust, of passion is worth to be kicked out.
I deeply believe in God and the bible.
I'm not a liar. I wouldn't do this and hope noone will notice. I would bring myself in and confess. But it wouldn't be remorseful. So, no chance to come back.
I'm a sinner, to just think about this. And I'm getting weaker and weaker with time.
9:19 am - October 30, 2015
Recent entries:
- - April 17, 2019
- - April 10, 2019
Das kannste schon so machen, aber dann ist es halt Kacke - April 08, 2019
- - March 25, 2019
- - March 18, 2019
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