I feel helpless.
I want to end all bad things and go away.
But they don't.
I can't help.
Useless.
Earlier I wrote an email in which I wrote about my brother. I thought of him a lot afterwards and then I called him this time. I asked how he is. He said no change. He told me that the money I gave him seemed to be melted away like snow in July. He still is without electric power as he wasn't able to pay his bill. So, he has no warm water and was only able to pay for food and wood to heat his appartment. Next week he gets his unemployment money called "Hartz IV" for December. His ex-girfriend still isn't available, who has his bike, his computer he built himself out of old parts, his mobile phone and some other stuff. What a b!tch! He still loves her. That is so tragic as it seems that she is just playing him and taking advantage.
He needs a smaller appartment which is nearer to the town, but those are very rare in a place with a lot of students.
Yesterday I went to work again. Today I had a day off, I already applied for several weeks before. Didn't felt too good after my first day at work after my illness. I'm glad that I can recover a bit more for the long weekend. Still have a sore throat.
Last night I slept for 10 hours without stopping. That is a PB for the last 2 or 3 years or so. But I had very disturbing dreams again. If I remember my dreams, they are always disturbing.
PT updated my training schedule. Lots of running and strength training.
Right now I'm listening to one of my old CDs. Josh Groban - doesn't make me feel happier with all those sad and melancholic songs.
But I did a bit of running at noon, which made me feel better. Sun was out.
I see a lot of spectacular sundowns here during the last weeks, while sitting at my table. The most beautiful skies in all shades of yellow, orange, red and lilac with clouds and without.
We haven't had any nameable precipitation for quite a few weeks. Inland waterway transportation is in trouble for a while now as the river stages are in century-lows. The only humidity we get is in form of fog in the mornings. This dryness is very strange as November normally is the month of "uncomfortablism" with lots of cold rain, cold fog and even very cold snow and ice on the streets.
I read a lot about the "Black Friday". I have no clue what it is and why there are all those "Black Friday offers".
Did you know that Thanksgiving is of heathen origin as well?
00:01 am - November 26, 2011
Recent entries:
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- - April 10, 2019
Das kannste schon so machen, aber dann ist es halt Kacke - April 08, 2019
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