My brother called yesterday in the evening. Guess what he wanted - money.
He only calls when he needs money.
I'm so mad at my father. He was the worst father in the world. He raised my brother on the Philipines, where he moved after he married my stepmom, who's a Philippina. My brother has no school education as my father couldn't afford the school fees. My brother has no apprenticeship because he has no school education. My brother never had to work for a longer time as there was always my father as a back up he could come to and got money from and a place to sleep. My father died in 2007. My brother moved back to Germany. Here he is "a Nobody" with no education, no apprenticeship no certificates he needs to get a decent job. Germans always want certificates for each and everything. This means that my brother has been unemployed for nearly all the time he's staying here in Germany. He had some occasional jobs, which were limited or which he just quit after a time or he was fired of whatever reasons ever. My brother is a man of 34 years now. He's a good man with a nice heart but so very unable to master his life. He lies straight into your face as he says what you want to hear but no truth. He wants to be a good guy and be good with everyone. He trusts everyone and is good to everyone. He had a girlfriend who seems to take advantage of him. I don't know her. She takes things of him and doesn't give them back.
He's an alcohol addict as well. He already went to therapy and is now sober for a few months. He says so at least. I don't trust him at all as he lied so often. I would like to help him, but as I cannot trust him I will not be able to advice him to someone I know who might have a job for him. As bad as I feel to say, but I feel very much ashamed for him.
He lives somewhere near Berlin, in a tiny village where he's stranded with no car (he has no drivers licence) no electricity as he couldn't pay the bills and not much to eat.
He's far away. He already asked if he could live down here in Munich, but I said that Munich is a lot more expensive than the east of Germany. He couldn't afford anything down here and I would never ever be able to live with him if he asked if he could live with me. He would drive me mad besides that I couldn't afford him to live with me and give him free board and lodging.
I should help, but I can't. All I did was transferring money while we spoke on the phone.
Now I'm broke again and I need my next salary pretty urgent. Three weeks to go.
I'm selfish!
I have such a bad conscious and I feel so very sorry about him and I'm so very mad of my father.
8:26 am - November 09, 2011
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Das kannste schon so machen, aber dann ist es halt Kacke - April 08, 2019
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