Today is a wonderful day.
Sun's out on a mostly pale blue sky.
But somehow I'm in a whiny mood, full of self-pity.
How I hate myself to be like this!!
I do cry since the early morning hours.
I feel very alone.
I think to myself, that there's noone I can go to.
There's noone who gives me a hug, noone who gives me the things I need right now.
No words, no hugs, no understanding, no ear.
Even the bible can't give me comfort this time.
It just makes me feel more alone.
I'll go to the gym later.
Do some core-workout, do my swim training and then head back home.
The truth is, there's one person who would be able to give me all this, but this person is far away.
This person lives in another world.
At least on the moon - real far away.
Everybody is a stranger and I understand noone or vice versa.
Sports performance test brought the result that I didn't get better during the last year, thanks to my thyroid and graves disease.
I was not trainable.
Nearly the same results as last years.
Now, that my thyroid is somewhere rotting in wasteland, I really hope that it'll get better.
This morning the squirrel visited the bird feeder again. I haven't seen it, but it was nearly empty, so I'm just guessing.
1:00 pm - January 24, 2011
Recent entries:
- - April 17, 2019
- - April 10, 2019
Das kannste schon so machen, aber dann ist es halt Kacke - April 08, 2019
- - March 25, 2019
- - March 18, 2019
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