Cried a lot last night. I have the impression that it's getting worse and worse with me and my mind. Pretty fast downwards. Can't stop crying and I don't even know why the hell I do cry. Even cry now, here at work. Don't know what my collegues think of me, with my ugly red face with red eyes.
No real big changes in my life happened that justify this fast way down.
The "business relationship" with my current trainer is ending after my race next week. It seems that he can't get rid of me fast enough. Hopefully PT will jump in until my last race is done in September. Wrote an email last night. Didn't get an answer yet.
This change is happening faster than I thought.
I'm so very helpless.
Last night I thought, that there are no friends in my life. There's no one in my life, I would call in the middle of the night and ask for help. No matter how bad I feel. I don't have a lot of trust in people around me. I don't think anyone would understand what I feel. I myself don't understand, so how could someone else do?
Sun is shining, but there's no light in me.
9:25 am - August 09, 2010
Recent entries:
- - April 17, 2019
- - April 10, 2019
Das kannste schon so machen, aber dann ist es halt Kacke - April 08, 2019
- - March 25, 2019
- - March 18, 2019
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