today was a strange day. felt worse than yesterday. Anita came by in the afternoon. we went to meet a young woman in some kind of pub and afterwards we went to PTs brother. Every minute right before and after I left the house was so very strange. I felt like a stranger in my skin. I don't knw why and I'm not able to describe my feelings in a right way. It's like you are a stranger at home and you see everything in a bizar way. like when you're on drugs. dull and unshaped and sharp and clear at the same time. you don't feel comfortable and safe and alone, even when you are in company with your best friends.
I hope that this feelings will go by. I'll go to bed and I hope that I can sleep, without any dreams. I dream a lot lately. very unusual for me. mostly of PT. *sigh* they leave me confused and depressed.
10:40 pm - November 20, 2009
Recent entries:
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Das kannste schon so machen, aber dann ist es halt Kacke - April 08, 2019
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