it didn't stop raining. :-S
After running I looked the same as after I came out of the shower. (I had less clothes on in the shower, of course)
I'm going to spend Christmas alone. This is the very first time I am all alone at this time of the year. I'm somehow exited and somehow a bit afraid.
What makes me afraid is that people feel sorry for me and might think of me, "the poor one has no one she can go to". But it was my choice to do so, not that I haven't had the choice to spend it with my sisters or brother or maybe friends.
It's always the choice that makes the difference.
I never liked Christmas very much since I "grew up". Especially not during my years of marriage. It was only like an imposition, nothing lovable. The duty to make presents, the duty to visit family, the duty to cook a nice meal... Pressure all the time.
I loved Christmas, when I was a child. That ended after my mother died. Home didn't feel like home anymore. Never had a real feeling of being home afterwards.
Home is a smell and a feeling.
Today is (would be) my mothers birthday. She would have turned 66.
23:17 - December 21, 2008
Recent entries:
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Das kannste schon so machen, aber dann ist es halt Kacke - April 08, 2019
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