Yesterday was a heavy day somehow. Tired. Work, training and a supposed date with another couple and J. in some sort of sex-club. Right in the morning when I arrived at work I had such a huge averseness against that date that I sent a textmessage to J. and canceled the appointment. He didn't call or send a message back until now. I guess he was/is very disappointed and angry or whatever. But I couldn't help. It would have been really stressful to get directly after work for training (bike and swimming 2,5h) and then shower, dress up, bike downtown to J. and drive with him to that club. I was so tired of the sleepless night before and I didn't want to cancel my training because this is first priority in my life right now and what is even more important, I had absolutely no lust. So what can I do? I know that it's J.'s problem do deal with the canceled appointment and his disappointment and anger or whatever he feels but it makes me angry that there is no response at all. Somehow childish, or?
10:56 - November 13, 2008
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