Last night I had a dream. There is this woman at my fitnes center. I don't like her at all. She's got dyed light blond hair down to her shoulders with a chubby figure. She looks cheap and somehow dumb. I didn't like her from the moment on I viewed her first. She's always loud and tries to get as much attention as she can get, especially of men. She is nauseating.
So I dreamed of that woman.
I was chasing her down in an old house somewhere out in a solitary backcountry area. She climbed some stairs as fast as she could, but I caught her. She fell down and I grabbed her feet and I pulled her down the stairs so that her head was banging on each step very loud. Down the steps I took her head and banged it hard and as often as I could on the hard and stony surface of the ground until she was totally kept still and dead. Her head was bloody and blood was dripping out of her blond hair. I did all this with no emotions but the satisfaction of something in me, wanting her to be dead. I killed her in cold blood.
Then I woke up. It was 3 am. I couldn't get any sleep further on. I never had such a dream before and I was afraid, that this dream or visions of her ruined face and head would come back. I was totally horrified of myself, that I could be able to do such things to someone.
A teacher once said, you don't have to like everybody but you have to love them all...
I don't know, if I am able to love them all but I should.
9:55 p.m. - 2008-10-27
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